This Week in Sports

Ok, you all caught me. I admit it. I like football more than the other sports. So yes, I could talk about the “Panini Obsidian Basketball” box coming out today, or the “Topps Baseball complete Factory Set” coming out… also today. 

But I won’t. Not today! Too much happened in football recently and I have a lot of thoughts on it. So here’s the first edition of “Things That Happened in Football Recently That I Find Funny or Interesting!”

1. “No Fortnite Until You Finish Your Homework, Kyler!”

When I was a kid, I played a lot of video games (I play a lot of video games now, but I did then, too) and my parents constantly had to tell me “Son, you can’t play any more Halo until you finish your homework!” Which was fair! I didn’t have a job, I wasn’t in any school clubs, and I definitely wasn’t recently paid 230 MILLION DOLLARS by a professional NFL team to be their star player and team leader!

But that’s what happened to Kyler Murray of the Arizona Cardinals. The Cards, in their $230,500,000 contract with the young QB, literally had to mandate that Kyler do a minimum of 4 hours of game study per week. PER WEEK! 

And, like my parents, I get why the Cardinals put that in the contract. Kyler Murray is not only a great talent at quarterback, but also an avid Fortnite player. So much so that the Cardinals added the “no games until you finish your homework” clause to their quarter billion dollar agreement. 

A few days after we found out about that, though, the Cardinals removed that rule from Kyler’s contract, saying “it was a distraction.” They really don’t have a lot of faith in Kyler’s attention span, do they?

2. DK Metcalf gets PAID!

This piece of news makes the cut because Going Twice is a Seattle based company, and seeing DK sign up to be here for 4 more years is a GREAT thing!

This absolute unit of a wide receiver had just a day or 2 of “holding in,” which is when you show up for practice but don’t participate (which is apparently better than “holding out” but I feel like they’re both the same? I don’t get it.), before Seattle agreed to a deal.

Not only is Seattle paying him $73 million, but nearly $60 mil of that is guaranteed. But the part that feels craziest? He also received a $30 million signing bonus. Dude woke up, signed a paper, and went to bed with $30 million extra dollars in his bank account. 

And honestly, he deserves it! He’s a great talent who will have a prolific career… Assuming my hawks can find someone to throw him the damn ball.

3. Commander’s Co-Owner Complies with Congressional Committee

Last Thursday, Dan Snyder voluntarily spoke with the congressional committee that was convened specifically to look into allegations of, to put it lightly, the toxic work environment of the newly named Washington Commanders. 

Dan Snyder is reported as saying he responded to all questions about his organization’s terrible treatment of literally everyone while describing “the Commanders’ dramatic two-year transformation and expressed hope for the organization’s bright future.”

 A future so bright and a transformation so apparent that the government committee, which was formed solely to deal with this terrible organization, only had to question Dan Snyder for 11 hours! 

I don’t know about you, but I’m FILLED with confidence about Dan’s organization when a government body has eleven entire hours of questions about how abusive and toxic his organization is!

I know a lot of other stuff happened this week but these are the 3 pieces of football news that caught my attention! See you next week with probably an article more relevant to collecting!

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